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I became addicted shortly after I had my second child. I had a lot of pain in my muscles and joints which led to Frabromanalgia(??) in which i started regularely on the Lortabs. After the pain was gone, I realized, hey, this makes me have energy now. I can take care of my two kids all day, have the house "perfect" and be the "perfect" wife and have a great dinner when my husband gets home. I thought it made me better person, mother, friend, wife...but it wasn't. I was taking up to 12 lortabs a day, 2 at a time and sometimes 3 at a time on a bad day. |
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My turning point was when I was out of pills and had no clue because all of doctors were getting to the point where they wouldn't refill them. I was all out and I hadn;t been that way before in a long time. So I didn't know what to do. I had a huge panic attack. My husband was freaking out. He didn't know about my secret. Finally...he asked. And I just came out with it. Our pastor and his wife, my mother and father and a few select "real" friends were there to help me talk about it. |
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I am on my fourth day of recovery. No pills. And I'm getting there. I know each day is going to be a battle of the "craving" one. I still want one now. But i would not take it. I'm basically so angry at it. That one pill. It broke me down little by little, making me believe I needed it. I will so beat this. My phsical withdraws are getting better. Today I felt like i wanted to jump out of my skin at certian times, but I didn't. I held my own. I read my bible, I called up friends. And I;m going to check on Outpatient Therapy. |
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Man, just hold tight because nothing feels as worse as the first three to four days. After that, don't ever live that hell again. You can do it. That one little white, pink, green,yellow or blue pill is not going to make or break you. Get angry with it. Though it sounds stupid, get mad at it enough to say hey, leave me the hell alone and let me be me again. I will be praying for those out there that are feeling like me right now. And we all need it. |
