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I had a severe spine injury - compressed disc & cracked vertebrae, and no one at my HMO saw it until I went to a specialist who saw the injury in the same MRI. I rcv'd Vicodin for the pain. I could barely walk without it for long periods of time. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and the doctors KNEW this. So did I, but didn't see any way out of the pain. Within a month, I was taking more than the RX'd amount. It got to 15-20 pills a day. All from the same HMO!! When I had to wait tw0 days to get a refill, I sometimes cadged some from colleagues. It was horrible. |
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My behavior became so erratic and weird. More so than when I was drinking. I finally made a gross error in judgment, which led to my arrest. Upon being released on bail, I got back into recovery meetings, which I had stopped going to after my injury. My life was destroyed - marriage dead, career dead, reputation gone, friends lost, criminal status... I was on the verge of suicide, but too chicken. I knew there was only one other way out. Recovery and God. |
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It's all very fresh. I'm trying to put a new life together, but it's very difficult, since one of the things I am dealing with is the fact that I feel that I checked out and became an entirely different person for three years. So this "new" life is very confusing since everything I knew is gone. Friends in recovery, prayer, and the concept of "One Day At A Time" (when I can grasp it) are what keeps me sane. But having gone through recovery once before, I know or feel rather that it does get better. |
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Be very careful. Always follow the directions on the RX, NO MATTER WHAT! If you're an addictive personality, your brain will tell you that you can handle more, even though you might know that you can't. I would even suggest that you give your RX to someone to dispense to you, someone you can trust, and who has a thick skin. Constant vigilance. This is a nightmare I don't want anyone else to go through. Ever. |
